Glamorous Monsters of the Deep

I guess I'm feeling a bit better, I mean I'm not great, no where near back to normal, but tomorrow I've decided that I'll attempt working again. It won't be an all day thing yet, I'm prone to crying a lot and I KNOW tomorrow is going to be hard... The last time I worked, Mum was still alive, but I'm with colleagues that I will look after me and I'm just trying this out... Wish me luck tomorrow... 
For right now though, I'm going to have to do something that distracts me, and tries to remove that nervous energy I have... The best way to do that is to slip into a little fantasy world, right?! 
The best of those seems to be fairy or, if I'm really needing time away from the real world, Mer.... Today We're under the sea, in the ruins of an abandoned, yet haunting city... 

I love being a mermaid or something monstrous under the sea... I dunno why, I guess it's just my favourite of the fae folk... This time I'm a little more of the sea monster variety, but one that is adorning herself in a million different treasures of the deep... 

What is she wearing;
Tiara: cinphul - Salacia Crown
Hair: [monso] - Tsuki Hair in Black & Red (Available until August 30th at Collabor88)
Head: BeSpoke - Ani Head
Dress & Sleeves: ERSCH - Sedna Dress  (Available until August 20th at Midnight Order)
Tattoo: Lilithe' - Ashiok Tattoos in Faint [FULL]  (Available until August 20th at Midnight Order)
Body Paint & Pearl Fins: Faunus - Merfolk in Teal
Gold Scales: Izzie's - Body Mermaid Scales in Gold
Body pearls: Insomnia Angel - Body Pearls
Bubbles: MoonAmore - Ocean Lover in  Bubbles
Pose & Necklace Prop: [piXit] - Athanasia, Pose F2
Pillars: Amadeus - Pulse of the Sea Pillars in Pillar B Obsidian (Available until August 20th at Midnight Order)
Lighting: Botanical - Underwater Caustics Projector CLUSTER v1 (Available until August 20th at Midnight Order)
Backdrop: FOXCITY. Photo Booth - Aquaria 

Happy Making Ice Cream

Last night, we had a funny moment at home... The hubby came running down the stairs, shouting at me that he needed to go to the store before it closed... He was having a MASSIVE craving for Ice Cream, and as our new fridge freezer arrived yesterday he knew he could put some ice cream in it... 
I guess, for the first time in a while, that it inspired me to do something a little fun and a lot silly... Maybe I'm on the healing path, and finally able to let go a little?! I was inspired, I ate Ice Cream... The Fairies came back out to play... 

I am not a huge fan of Ice Cream, that's always been Hell's thing but granted I do like it occasionally and I couldn't really resist considering how warm it has been recently. 
While I was making a mess in the kitchen with all of the different options in the American Classic range - from Lucas Lameth - HellBone decided to show me how much he truly loves Ice Cream by presenting me with an Ice Cream Topiary - this one from the Patriotic Set, but there are other combinations available too at Simply Shelby - which ALSO lead to two things happening... 
One, the pug managed to get up on the counter and get his way into an Ice Cream tub - this pug is from Jian and I am both happy and sad to hear that Jian will be closing. It's great that new directions will be taken but Jian was ALWAYS one of my favourite places for the cute animals in SL! - and Two, the Ice Cream attracted a fairy who was desperate for something sweet and cold... I totally agree with her excitement... 

What is she wearing;
Hair Accessory: kotte - Face Pack in Sprinkles Icing Mess
Hair: Moon. Hair - Cupcake
Glasses: Suicidal Unborn!- Pastel Sunglasses
Wings: Doe - Dragon Pixie Wings 01 in Rainbow Neon
Boa: Moon Amore - Melted Boa in KITSCH BOA (Available until August 30th at Collabor88)
Body Paint: Izzie's - Rainbow Powder Explosion & Ladybird - Rainbow Body Glitter
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Outfit: CUREMORE - Melty Love OUTFIT
Pose: [piXit] - Manaram, Pose 2
Topiary: Simply Shelby - Patriotic Ice Cream Topiary Set in Ice Cream Bar Flower Topiary White
Ice Cream Decor: (Lucas Lameth) - Ice-Cream, American Classic
Dog: JIAN - Sneaky Snacker in Ice Cream Pug
Melted Ice Creams: random.Matter - Ice Cream Bar in Melted Cones
Melted Ice Lolly: random.Matter - Ice Cream Bar in Melted CreamPop Strawberry
Plant Pot: vespertine - Large Potted Chrysanthemums (Flowers Derendered)
Table Top: KraftWork - Carolean Round Table 

Said It All

Yesterday was the day that my Mum was cremated... Yesterday was the day that everything felt so final... It's been a long month to get here, but yesterday was the day that she was finally able to be at rest... Soon she'll be back with us where she belongs and I KNOW I cannot wait to have her home again...

So while I'll be mourning in Private for now, I wanted to take a moment to send everyone a hug. Tell you all that, if you're still lucky enough to have your mum around and you love her even just a little, remember to give her a hug and tell her that...
To my mum, and I KNOW you won't read this, but I wanna say it anyway... You knew that SL was a big part of me, you didn't ever really understand it but when it took my life in the direction it did I'm sure you thought I was crazy... You accepted it was a part of me, and welcomed the parts of my life that it brought you, like your crazy Dutch son-in-law... That's why I've had to take a few moments just to let Rudh leave you a thank you, shed a tear for you and become my therapy as I heal through these difficult times... 
I love you mum, you were always my favourite person - just don't tell Dad I said so - and I will see you again every time I look at the clouds or smell the flowers or find that perfect shell on the beach... One last thing to share with you today, since it was one of your favourites... Take That have "Said It All" for and with you... 

What is she wearing;
Flowers: *Lode* - Cydonia Hair Accessory [Full pack]
Hair: TRUTH - Odyssey in Redhead
Skin: Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Eyes: Izzie's - Lua Eyes in Teary Eyes Green
Eye Make-Up: WarPaint - Regal Eyeshadow & Pearls, Worn With Izzie's - Smeared Mascara & Little Tears
Necklace & Earrings: (Yummy) - Moonveil Collection (Available until August 30th at Collabor88)
Top: miss chelsea - Sora Set in Tank
Pose: piXit - Melanie, Pose 1
Backdrop: Synnergy.Tavis - Petalgrave Garden {360} Backdrop

The Queen Shall Rise

At the moment I KNOW that everything seems to sound like I am not coping, I am hanging on the edge of a break down and I am done with life in general... I am sorry if it seems that way and that I'm worrying anyone. Things are just really difficult at the moment, but I HOPE that soon I am back on track and able to start enjoying life again... It's just everything still seems so bleak and I HATE not being able to pick up the phone and speak to mum... 
The Queen of the family has fallen... I'm just not sure how long it will take for her eldest to be able to step up and assume her role... 

You never think that it's going to happen... I mean I'm not stupid I KNEW it would happen one day, but her mother is 94, alive and kicking... I thought I had at least another 20 years of nonsense with her yet... Still, sometimes the Princess has to step up, stand in the shoes of the Queens before her and guide her life in it's own direction... I'm just hoping she's going to be like the Jedi in Star Wars... Always there, always feeling her "Force"... 
So the battle may be over but the uphill climb has now begun... The mourning period is diminishing, and wearing black is less of a done thing. The crown must be adjusted and worn with pride... I don't know if I'm ready, but the Midnight Order of things demands a Queen shall rise... 

What is she wearing;
Hair: About Love - Enigmatic Hairstyle (Available until August 20th at Midnight Order)
Crown: UNA - Ruise Crown in Gold (Available until August 20th at Midnight Order)
Circlet: random.Matter- Guila Set in Warm Tones
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Make-Up: Izzie's - Smeared Mascara & ARISE - Running Mascara (No Longer Available!)
Necklace: random.Matter - Gwyneira Collar in Warm Tones
Sleeves: Voluptas Virtualis - Exuvie.Arms (Available until August 20th at Midnight Order)
Weapon: Opifex - Thorn (Available until August 20th at Midnight Order)
Dress: [NOBEL CREATIONS] - Jasmine in SUNSET GOLD (Available until August 20th at Midnight Order)
Pose: [piXit] - Beatrice, Pose F5R
Armour: DRD - Mystic Bastion Item in Knight Decor
Backdrop: Synnergy.Tavis - Lavender & Lace - LIGHT {360} Backdrop 

Amsterdam's Pride

Hello out there, remember me? I'm that girl that used to ramble on about nonsense in every blogpost I wrote, usually accompanying that with a silly picture that I loved but most people probably thought was a bit bonkers... I've had a bit of an unexpected absense recently... I've alluded to things in the past but mid house move, we had an emergency in RL and I had to make another mad dash back to the UK... I'm not really ready to talk about it yet, but I will in time, even writing this is making me emotional... 
Still, I NEED to start finding some semblance of normality... I'm back in Holland now, and since it's a special day in Amsterdam, I'm going to use it as a gentle way to get back to blogging... 

Today is Amsterdam Pride... Not being proud of Amsterdam - although that is an every day thing for the Amsterdammers that I know and love - although perhaps it's a good day to be proud of the city and it's people. A day when the Netherlands shines as a Gay capital of the world, and Amsterdam being the first city to legalize same sex marriages throws open it's canals for one of the most colourful parades in the world... I LOVE Amsterdam Pride every year, this year we're hosting World Pride too which makes it seem extra special. I just wish I was feeling strong enough to go and join the fun!!! Everyone should be celebrating love today... Love is one of the most important things a person can have, it's one of those very important things that keeps me going... I'm going to enjoy a little love today, celebrate Pride a little more and enjoy some special churros and maybe a little puff-puff-pass action?! 
HAPPY AMSTERDAM WORLD PRIDE DAY!!!!

What is she wearing;
Flags: Junk Food - Pride White Headband
Hair Accessory: miss chelsea - Love Pride Headband
Hair: Wasabi - Joyride Hair in Offbeat
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Make-Up: Keymoko - Pride Set (Past Gift!) (No Longer Available!), Palette - Pride Hearts (No Longer Available!) & Izzie's - Rainbow Glitter Freckles
Outfit: [RED GIRL] - Reese Shorts Overall Pride (Past Event Gift!)
Badges: Grandma's House - Pride Pins (Past Event Gift!)
Food: andika - "Pride Heart Churros" (Past Event Gift!)
Pose: [PiXit] - Beatrice, Pose F5
Leaf Friends: Junk Food - Weed Plushies
Clouds: kotte - Cloudy
Backdrop: FOXCITY. Photo Booth - Tunnel of Love

Shark Bites are Ouchies!

I NEED to do something silly and whimsical today or I am going to actually drive myself nuts... I had NO IDEA what I wanted to do, and in RL we have been so busy moving things around so that HellBone and I can move back home sometime next week that we're both getting frustrated and tired. It feels like we've not done much today but we did a LOT and tomorrow there will be a LOT more to come too... 
So right now I NEED something fun and silly before my head implodes! Dramatic I KNOW, but it is what it is now... So that's why this happened... 

I decided to take the dogs for a walk down at the beach by the Baywater Lighthouse - a backdrop from Synnergy.Tavis - and we had one of those magical moments where as soon as they hit the water, they transformed into adorable little Shark Pups - from Aardvark - SUPER Cute and super fun... I pulled on a hat so that I could join in the fun, and was told that this Chomper Shark Hat - from Junk Food in the weekend sales this week - would keep me safe... Apparently it was the wrong information... One of the shark pups was a little hungry, and decided to take a Shark Bite - which is the shark on my leg and part of the Beach Day Gacha Collection from Mug at Equal10 now - outta my leg... OUCH!

What is she wearing;
Hat: Junk Food - Chomper Shark Hat
Hair: ARGRACE - CHIZURU in Reds
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Goggles: STOIC - SUMMER GOGGLES
Body drips: Izzie's - Wet Body & Face
Shark Leg & Outfit: Mug - Beach Day Gacha Items in Fun Bikini RARE & Shark Bite Blue (Available until August 5th at Equal10)
Pose & Floatie Prop: [piXit] - Summer Vibes, Pose 1F2R
Shark Puppies: Aardvark - Shark Pups
Backdrop: Synnergy.Tavis - Baywater Lighthouse {360}Backdrop in BLUE

Clouds in Heaven

My mind is in weird and icky places at the moment, I'm dealing with a lot... I have my house work getting closer to being done and I NEED to get moved out of this place I'm temporarily living in. I also have things going on with my mum... I've mentioned it before but she's got cancer and it's getting worse, very very quickly... I'm preparing myself for the worst at this moment. Please don't hate me... Please forgive me for being sad and lost in my unhappy mind... I need to distract myself... 

My mind went into fantasy mode, but then even that went back to the way it has been... Thinking about the things that may happen soon with my mum... 
So when I ended up as and angel in the clouds, gathering together the spirited pets of our family past.. Gus mum's favourite cat, and Izzy our dog, came to be ready for when Mum decides that it's time to join them... I am so scared about that moment, but I am trying to remain positive... I want to do something pretty... 

What is she wearing;
Cloud Halos: (Upper): Tentacio - Heaven Set in Heaven Halo 2 & LuluB! - CloudHead in Blue Sky
Hair: [monso] - Anya Hair in Black & Red
Eye Clouds: Tentacio - Cloud Candy in Cry Me
Make-Up: FATHER - Cloud Blush & The Horror! - Angel Blush in Blue
Necklaces: random.Matter - Ferryn Set in Necklace & Choker
Fur: CURELESS[+] - Alpine Fur in PURE
Wings: Doe - Ethereal Wings 01 in BGY
Body Paints & Glitter: Izzie's - Body & Face Glitter & FOREST FANTASY STORE (Now Faunus) - Galaxy Demon & Half Demon in Blue
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Outfit: Yuni - Sang Outfit in [WHITE]
Magical Sparkles: Cole's Corner - Starstuff, Glitterati & The Fantastical Nebulous Aether, everfaery - Starfield Aura & Aii - Astral Smoke
Pose: [piXit] - Beatrice, Pose F5
Animal & Extra Clouds: kotte - Cloudy
Background: K&S - // Knockin on Heavens Door. Backdrop 

Jelly and Underwater Bathtime!

Guess who made itn back home to the Netherlands?? That's right, me... Guess who doesn't really want to be here in the Netherlands?? If you guessed me, then well done you're also right! Honestly it's always hard to leave my parents and the family home that I grew up in but this time was the worst yet... I've been hinting about my mum being sick, and well, it is actually much worse than I thought. I'm not sure how long we will have left with her and honestly the news has broken me into a million little pieces and I'm warning you now I may not be my usual random, bubbly self for a while... Please forgive me... Please bear with me... Please don't give up on me if I'm sporadic or depressing...
Anyway, for now, it's Sunday Night, and as always that means it's bathnight... 

I decided that I needed to do something to cheer myself up and it was to take my bath somewhere fun... I discovered the Underwater Bathroom - a backdrop from Synnergy.Tavis - and while the water and bubbles were lovely. It was soothing and comforting and when I dared look up through the window, I came face to face with some adorable little Jellyfish Companions - which are a MishMish release for June's Kustom9 Event, that still runs until July 10th - who were dancing around in the bubbles... 
It didn't really help my mood, and although I wanted to enjoy their cute little hijinks, even though it did marginally help, the tears are yet to stop flowing... As I said, please bear with me... I will be OK soon... I think...

What is she wearing;
Hair: ARGRACE - SHIMIZU in Reds
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Tears: Izzie's - Little Tears, Izzie's - Smeared Mascara in Smokey Tears & KitCat - Constella Tears
Bubbles on Body: MIWAS - Bubble on me in White
Soap: KitCat - Soapy in Bar Soap Decor
Pose: FOXCITY - Milk Bath, Pose 5
Jellyfish: MishMish - Jellyfish Companion (Available until July 10th at Kustom9)
Floating Bubbles: Half-Deer - Bubbles
Backdrop: Synnergy.Tavis - Underwater Bathroom {360} Backdrop

Be Proud and Love who you are!

It's June, and aside from the fact that Hair Fair is running to raise money for Wigs for Kids, it's Pride Month and therefore we have a lot more things to both celebrate and bring awareness to... Every year Pride is celebrated all over in Second Life, as well as in RL, and although it should be something we celebrate all day, every day, I dont see any harm in raising any extra awareness as often as we can... 

Pride is such an important thing. It's unfortunate that even these days, people face hatred and discrimination for the way they want to be and the people that they love, and seriously that is something that needs to stop. I admit that these days I am straight, happy and consider myself a straight ally, but I really believe that people should be allowed to love whoevery they want, and they should be allowed to live however they choose... So long as no one gets hurt, the world would be a much better place for it... 
Once again Pride@Home has opened its city streets and blasted the Second Life world with rainbow colours and patterns to match those of the LGBTQ+ community. There are sales events and music events, parties, contests, photography showcases and so much more, and they aren't the only ones running Pride events this month. 
It feels very much that the world needs a little more love right now... Love is Love, no matter what. Maybe if there was a little more love in the world, then it wold be a better place... 

What is she wearing;
Hair Accessory: miss chelsea - Love Pride Headband (Gift Available until June 30th at Pride@Home Event Sim)
Hair: Martyr - Pride Hair (Gift Available until June 30th at Pride@Home Event Sim)
Glasses: Deiji - Pride Glasses 2026 (Gift Available until June 30th at Pride@Home Event Sim)
Body Paint: Izzie's - Rainbow Powder Explosion (Face & Body)
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Necklace: Soapberry - Proud Pearls (Gift Available until June 30th at Pride@Home Event Sim)
Top: BOYS TO THE BONE - Natt Tank in Pride 2026 (Available until June 30th for Pride@Home)
Jacket: Moon Amore - GlamDiosa in Faux Fur Coat (Available until June 30th for Pride@Home)
Pants: BOYS TO THE BONE - Mancunian Pants in Pride 2026 (Available until June 30th for Pride@Home)
Pose: NANTRA - Norma Jean, Pose 1 (Available June 5th - 15th at Vintage Fair)
Lava Lamps: GlowBaby - Love Wins Lava Lamp (Gift Available until June 30th at Pride@Home Event Sim)
Floating Neon Hearts: Oddinary - Pride At Home Neon Heart Rainbow (Gift Available until June 30th at Pride@Home Event Sim)
Confetti: [Bad Unicorn] - Confetti in Pride Party Gacha
Backdrop: Synnergy.Tavis - Rainbow Room {360} Backdrop

A Rest before the Salvage Station!

June 1st today, and there are lots of things going on in our little corner of the world that Second Life looks like a really fun and wonderful place to be... Pride at Home and the fun events surrounding Pride started today, leading in the events for the month... One of those events is totally different from the rainbows and sparkles of Pride, is the opening of Salvage Station... 
It's Electrifying... 

The Atomotel - a building kit from LORE for Second Life Syndicate's Salvage Station, opening today until June 30th - is like a neon mirage in the middle of the Grand Canyon desert... This perfect, little neon hotel is run by a little miss Frankie, who will welcome you to her hotel as you make your trip to the Salvage Station, so long as there is no funny business and she doesn't have to introduce you to her Stun Nail Bat - from Arts&Gear, also at Salvage Station - which will be more of a shock when she hits you with it than any normal bat... 

What is she wearing;
Hair: FUNKYSTENCH - FRANKS COSTUME WIG (No Longer Available!)
Goggles: AsteroidBox - Night-vis Goggles
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Neck Bolts: HAUNT - Frankie Bolts
Dirt: Izzie's - Face & Body Dirt
Stitches & Wounds: Sweet Thing - Patchwork
Top: Stories&Co - Evan Tank (Available until June 30th at Salvage Station)
Bodysuit: AsteroidBox - Rowan Bodysuit in Damaged
Shorts: Mug - Jett Shorts in Dusty
Bat: Arts&Gear - Stun Nail Bat (Available until June 30th at Salvage Station)
Walkie Talkie: Synnergy.Tavis - Old Walkie Talkie
Pose: [piXit] - Cyberbilly, Pose 1R
Decor (Buildings, Walkways, Signs, Post Box & Bin): LORE - Atomotel Kit & Deco (Available until June 30th at Salvage Station)
Backdrop: Synnergy - Grand Canyon Camper [360] Backdrop 

Sad, Trapped and Lost

I'm feeling very low today, I don't know why I mean aside from the random things that I usually complain about lately... I'm worried about people I care about are sick, I've got the stress of the house and the fact that HellBone is getting stressed and pissed and overdoing things, and I'm very very very tired... Today, nothing is making me feel happy, and I need to find a way to get my head above water...

I feel like I'm sitting alone in the dark and I am just going through the motions to keep my brain working and not breaking... I'm trying to keep my joyful attitude joyful by bouncing around on one of the Gummy Chairs - a release from Junk Food - that has been abandoned in my mind since my teens. 
I'm feeling shite, I'm sorry that I've been ranting here and there and I'm just wishing I could go home and spend some time with my Mum... I wish I could be there to help her and I wish that I could get back to my own home... 

What is she wearing;
Hair: [monso] - Choco Hair in Black & Red
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Collar & Chains: random.Matter - Neze Collar
Top: Mug - Morgana Top in Black
Body Dirt: Izzie's - Face & Body Dirt
Jeans: Mug - Christina Jeans in Gray
Feet Dirt: Izzie's - Dirty Feet
Pose: -Extra- - Dockside Daydream, Pose 1
Chair: Junk Food - Gummy Chair in Black
Hanging Decor: Static - Backwood Wards
Garbage: UrBaN SpIrIt - Garbage Day in Large Trash Bag Pile
Floor Litter: DRD - San Mora Item in City Trash Ground
Backdrop: Paparazzi - BACKDROP - Scrawled Hall 5

Money Can Be Spirited Away

So you may know that HellBone and I are currently living somewhere that's not home while our house is being rennovated... If you haven't I don't blame you for ignoring my ranting over the past few weeks LOL, but it's one of the bigger stresses of my life right now, and I'm rambling about it A LOT... Anyway, luckily in this process we're being assisted with government subsidies, and it's not a brag it's a moment of "thank god" because everything is SO FECKING EXPENSIVE... We had to go buy a new toilet today... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THOSE THINGS COST?! I know that there are costs of manufacture and for the sales company, but they are getting things cost price and it seems the consumer is getting bit in the butthole... Is it greed or is it necessity these days?!

I know talking about money can sometimes seem crass... I'd never ask anyone about their income or share mine with the world for that matter but they always say that money makes the world go round. They also say that it doesn't make you happy, but at the same time that's not enitrely true is it... If you don't have enough to live on or with then you're more likely to be a stressed and unhappy person... It seems though that these days everything is SUPER expensive, and yes I get it's because of all of the war taking place and the cost of living has naturally increased but life gets more expensive by the minute! 
Even the spirits that guard the world's most secretive vaults are concerned... There seems to be an explosion and a drainage of captial here, there and everywhere... Our little Spirit Guide - ears and a tail set from HAZEL by the way - is concened because her soul key - which is actually the Dungeon Keys from [NoRush] that sit in her chest - are no longer needed by the powers that be... They can just raise prices so the people that need her keys are left to suffer... 

What is she wearing;
Ears & Tail: HAZEL - SPIRIT GUIDE BUNDLE
Hair: Wasabi - Story Hair in Offbeat
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Mask: BeSpoke - Mask Skull FatPack
Wings: everfaery - Lelia Wings
Tattoos: Lilithe' -  Hildr Tattoos
Dress: everfaery - Yvette Dress (Available until May 15th at Lewd Station)
Keys & Keyhole: [NoRush] - Dungeon Keys
Sparkles: Cole's Corner - Glitterati
Gold Fingers: Izzie's - Gold Dipped Fingertips
Money Food: Hangry - Rich bites in Take Out Box & Take Out Box Chopsticks
Pose: [piXit] - Cyberbilly, Pose 7R
Decor & Backdrop: [Bad Unicorn] - 'The Heat' Gacha Collection

Ordered the Burger Surprise!

I spent sooooo much time working on chores today, I couldn't get myself into the right brain to think about much more than getting through the cleaning. I'm trying to wrap myself up in things that are avoiding the guilt of not being present to help over the Easter Weekend, but I have to keep reminding myself that I AM allowed to have time off since I'm working Friday and Saturday... Let the guilt go, seriously I'm working my shifts and the fact that I'm living here shouldn't be  reason to worry about not helping downstairs... Rant over... For now I think?! 
Now onto the more prominent task... What is for dinner?! 

Burgers it is... I fancy something gross and greasy and fastfood would be perfect. Nothing like a little Junk Food to make a girl feel a bit better about her grumpy mood... 
I'll head to the California Burger bar, and grab myself a delicious cheese burger... I was NOT actually expecting the surprise that followed. The burger attacked me... It was a Surprise Attack... A delicious but wonderful surprise attack... Things got a little saucy, a little cheesy but it was all in good fun! 

What is she wearing;
Hat: Sorumin - Bucket hat SET in Burger
Hair: TRUTH & Wasabi - Corvina in Redhead
Glasses: Junk Food - Pickle Vision
Nose Accessory: FOXCITY - Fryends Bento Pose in Prop Nose Fries
Make-up: Izzie's - Mouth Mess in Ketchup
Chest Accessory: parfait - Pizza Slvt Melted Cheese EXCLUSIVE
Arm Accessories: MIWAS - Bubble on me (Recoloured by me!)
Top: Stories&Co - Portia Bustier in Fatpack (Available until April 20th at Engine Room)
Costume: Junk Food - Burger Costume
Pose: [piXit] - Surprise!, Pose F5
Burger Box & Bag: Junk Food - Macky D's Tray Items
Fries & Drink: Half-Deer - Fast Food Clutter Items
Sauce: Junk Food - Dino Nuggets Plate Set in Ketchup
Backdrop: Focus Poses - California Burger Backdrop

A Trashy Kind of Day!

I need to take a moment to send a message to anyone reading that I'm sorry for being a bit of a Debbie Downer at the moment... I'm trying to keep mysef swimming but at the moment I'm barely able to find the energy to doggy paddle so that my head stays above water... It's just a lot going on at the moment, I'm kinda done with the stress of living here - you may have already guessed this fact - and soon I'm going to be reaching 40 and all I want for my birthday is a cuddle from my mummy... I cannot get one... I feel icky and gross and want to hide away from the world... 

I have been so stressed and getting frustrated, but I think that I'm going to just hide away for a while... I'll curl up somewhere dark maybe in a place I belong, like in a garbage bin like a piece of Premium Trash - as the set that is aptly named from piXit - as it's where I belong since I got mad and ripped up poor lil teddy... He was only trying to comfort me... I feel so bad about it, but please don't come at me, your opinions of my grumpy mood can be left in the Opinion Bin beside me - a release from Krescendo, for this month's FaMESHed - and since I'll probably get bored sitting here, with no one to talk to now that teddy is toast I will read them shortly... 

What is she wearing;
Hair: Magika - Caramel Hair
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Eyes: Izzie's - Lua Eyes in Teary Eyes Green
Tear Make-Up: Izzie's - Little Tears & Smeared Mascara
Top: Mug - Baylee Tank in Black
Pants: Mug - Baylee Jeans in Medium
Pose, Bin & Sign Props: [piXit] - Premium Trash
Wheelie Bins: [Krescendo] - Opinion Bin (Available until March 27th at FaMESHed)
Teddy Bear: {Sakura} - Scare Bears in Victim Bear RARE
Garbage Bags: UrBaN SpIrIt - Garbage Day Set (No Longer Available!)
Backdrop: blaink - DEPT 2B

A Tear and A Ted

I have had a day that has been a little mixed emotion-wise. Today was the funeral of an old family friend in the UK, he was someone I grew up with a little like an extra uncle and his wife was someone that I was very close to. She has been a rock for my mum whilst mum is undergoing her chemo treatments and I cannot be at home to help her. So it's been a day of thinking of the lady he left behind, the memories I have of him in the background of my childhood and my mother, who knew him well and is trying to keep her friend supported in this difficult time.. It's times like this when I HATE being so far away from the family. It's times like this when I feel like I'm not doing enough, and not being a good, supportive daughter... I'm trying not to cry as I say this but I miss my parents more than anything at the moment... 

I think I'm just feeling highly emotional... I turn 40 next Thursday and I won't be seeing my family. It's UK mother's day on Sunday and I won't be seeing my mother, and I guess I'm a little jealous that she's going to be seeing my sister instead but it's easier to go to her between chemo treatments than come all the way to Amsterdam. I'm living in a place that I don't like, that has no privacy and feels like I am CONSTANTLY at work. There are other things too but I am going to get through this and things will be better by the end of the year, I live in hope... 
I needed someone to love me, I needed to feel cozy and comfortable and cuddled... Teddy Bears and cuddly toys have always been my friend in this. I have lots and will keep collecting them and I cuddle them all, despite the fact that I am nearly 40. It is always a nice feeling to have something soft and sweet and friendly to cuddle, right?! For now, until I get a chance to see the family, facetime on the phone and cuddling teddies is the best that it's going to get... 

What is she wearing;
Hair: [monso] - Meiko Hair in Black & Red
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Eyes: Izzie's - Lua Eyes in Teary Eyes Green
Tear Make-Up: Izzie's - Little Tears & Smeared Mascara
Top: Mug - Serena Top in Olive
Shorts: Mug - Serena Shorts in Olive
LARGE Back Bear: Tardfish - Huggy Bear in Brown
Phone: Boutique #187 - Leather Phone Case 2.0
Pose & Teddy Prop: FOXCITY. Photo Booth - Sittin Pretty Bento Pose Set, Pose 5 (Available until April 6th at Collabor88)
Tissues: Puddles - Recovery Essentials in Tissues for your issues
Colourful Teddies: hive - My Colorful Teddy
Backdrop: FOXCITY. Photo Booth - Softly (Available until April 6th at Collabor88)

A Queen in Hiding!

Finally a day off and I had the chance to have a lay in. It was blissful, until we heard the staff of the shop below arriving for work and disturbing the wonderful slumber... It was so lovely cuddling up with Hell and my cat,and then reality came through and we had to go to our house and do some of the final work before we handover the keys next week... The first thing I NEED to do though is get a very, large cup of coffee... 

Even though I'm happy to have a day off and had a bit of a lay in, I'm still bloody exhausted and I know that HellBone is too... 
I'll sit around for a while, hide my exhausted eyes and unwashed hair under a cap - the Queen Cap from Boutique #187, available until February 25th at Astrophe - and pretend to read my book while I doom scroll through my phone as I find out what is going on with the rest of my friends in the Barely Functioning Club... 

What is she wearing;
Hat: Boutique #187 - Queen Cap (Available until February 25th at Astrophe)
Hair: Beusy - Plume Hair
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Eye Make-Up: Izzie's - Insomnia
Necklace: Kibitz - Lyona's Collar in Silver (Available until March 8th at Equal10)
Dress: miss chelsea - Noel Dress
Pose: -Extra- - Cafe Babe, Pose 3
Coffee: Junk Food - Barely Functioning Club in Currently Buffering Coffee
Phone: Junk Food - Barely Functioning Club in CELL
Bagels: MOVEMENT - Bagle Display in Penault Butter Bagle
Book: OMY - Bookworm in Open Book, Lover Pack (Available until March 9th at Kustom9)
Tissues & Pills: Puddles - Recovery Essentials (Available until February 27th at Anthem)
Boxes: RC Cluster - New Home Moving Box (No Longer Available!) & Atelier Burgundy - Moving Boxes in Box with Packing Peanuts
Plant: Pitaya - Love Monstera in Green Leaves
Sign: [Krescendo] - Funny Frames in Kitchen
Backdrop: SYNNERGY.TAVIS - Bryant Skybox in Light

The Wraiths of a Christmas Spirit

Why did I think that things might get better soon?? I think I jinxed myself and now not only am I having a terrible visit from Mother Nature, I'm also full of cold AGAIN!!! I feel like I am a total grinch right now, maybe Grinch isn't even strong enough... Maybe I'm reaching full on Scrooge level... Bah Humbug... 

I've been feeling so grumpy and there is NOTHING I can do to cheer myself up... Even the book Advent Calendar that my hubby made for me as a main Christmas present this year makes me smile but I soon get grumpy again because of everything else that's going on... 
Maybe I'll slip into the world of a Christmas Carol... Maybe I'll let the darkness in me draw the spirits of Christmasses gone by from the old Gothmas Christmas Tree in the hall - which happens to be a backdrop from Synnergy.Tavis for the SL Shop & Hop - and there is maybe some hope that they can save me... These spirits are not the ghosts from the Muppet version, although the last of the three in that film was a bit daunting when I saw it as I was a kid... These Wraith Skulls - a release from Tardfish for the current round of The Men's Department - of Christmas present are looming fast and I'm not sure I'm awake enough to avoid them... 

What is she wearing;
Hat: Mug - Santa Baby Gacha Item in #6 Santa Hat Black (Available until December 28th at The Arcade)
Hair: Magika - October Hair
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Make-Up: Izzie's - Insomnia
Sweater: Static - Mortem Sweater in Green (Available until December 15th at Gothmas)
Pants: The Kiwi Co - Blushpoint in Highwaist Jeans
Pose & Prop: [piXit] - Wilder, Pose F1
Skulls: Tardfish - Wraith Skull (Available until December 31st at The Men's Department)
Backdrop: Synnergy.Tavis - Gothmas {360} Backdrop (Available until January 4th at Holiday SL Shop & Hop)

The Last Day of November

Well Hi!!! It feels like forever since I had a chance to sit down and talk to you here... I've been such a busy girl in RL that eveerything seemsneglected and then I add to that the way my brain is fully and hurting, and I'm just tired... SO TIRED... Yet here we are, at the end of Novemeber and it doesnt seem hard to think it but how in the holy hell did we get here?! Pft, I guess it's time to try and get into the spirit of the Christmas Season... 

As Brit comedian, Michael McIntyre once commented, once December comes everyone starts discussing the "emotion of Christmassy", the feeling that we get for this festive holiday and I'm looking forward to the moment I get to make my announcement that "today I felt Christmassy for the first time" but right now I'm more interested in being a hibernating bear than celebrating Christmas LOL... 
Still I am going to make an effort, I HAVE to for my own mental wellbeing, and maybe a little Christmas sparkle will make life just that little happier... I've been busy in RL sorting things for the big renovation next year but that meant I was able to get my Christmas decorations out of storage... Is it just me or do we put the same little trickets and decorations out every year?! I cannot bear to spend a Christmas without them, each one is like a little trip down memory lane... A reminder of happy times and the sparkles of days gone by... 

What is she wearing;
Hair Band: miss chelsea - Nyra Set in Headband (Available until November 30th at Anthem)
Hair: [monso] - Megu Hair in Black & Red
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Glasses: Izzie's - Good Old Glasses
Cardigan: miss chelsea - Nyra Set in Cardi (Available until November 30th at Anthem)
Pants & Socks: miss chelsea - Nyra Set in Socks & Leggings (Available until November 30th at Anthem)
Pose: FOXCITY - Mushy, Pose 6
Decor:
    Light Tree: Junk Food - Ceramic Tree in Original
    Neutral Baubles: dust bunny - Box of Ornaments
    Tinsel: dust bunny - Tinsel Garland in Gold
    Santa Statue: Apple Fall - Happy Santa Figure in Berry
    Colourful Baubles: {moss&mink} - All that Glitters Gacha Items in Boxed Ornaments Classic
    Book: Aardvark - Banter Books
    Garland: vespertine - Knick Knack Mantel Garland in Candy Cane
    Green Bauble Box: vespertine - Merry Plantmas Ornaments Box
    Diamonds: Trompe Loeil - Vintage Diamond Floor Lights
    Teapot & Cups: Nutmeg - Cosy Gathering Tea Set Stack in Festive
    Old Ornament Boxes: DRD - The Last Christmas Shop in Old Ornaments
Backdrop: blaink - Last Day of ...

Magical Dolly Monsters

Today was one of those boring but busy days at work, and because it was crappy weather, people were just hanging around and doing nothing but eating... It was hard trying to remain calm and not get mad at people for being like a plague of locusts that ate everything in sight... Due to this fact, right now I am freaking exhausted... 
That's what happens when you end up working hard and there never seems to be a break insight... Even a weekend doesn't seem long enough... 

Rudh has taken up a new challenge recently... She's been working hard on some magical new friends for herself, she wanted a collection of adorable new monsters in her life since the monsters that she surrounds herself by are far too much for her to hande right now... 
She's taken over her sisters Tailor Set - which was a past event release from ANTAYA - at her place in Briar Court - which is actually a backdrop from Synnergy.Tavis - and has been working really hard to replace the monsters around her with monsters that are better... A Soft & Spooky Collection - from Nylon Outfitters - of friends. It has kept her awake for far too long, and she may have a little insomnia right now, but as she's falling asleep it is the magic of her dreams that starts to to bring these new little friends to life... 

What is she wearing;
Hair: everfaery - Tasia Hair (Available until November 15th at Lewd Station)
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Tired Make-Up: Izzie's - Insomnia
Drool: ARISE - Lip Drool (No Longer Available)
Tape & Bracelet: ANTAYA - Tailor Set in Pack 2
Top: The Kiwi Co - Ceres Top in The Orchard Edit
Pants: The Kiwi Co - Monaco Pants in The Orchard Edit
Pose & Table Prop: -Extra- - Cafe Babe, Pose 3M
Dolls: (Nylon Outfitters) - Soft & Spooky Collection
Sewing Tin: [littlep] - Mama's Cookie Box Set1 in Sewing Box
Sewing Box: random.Matter - Antique Shop II in Sewing Kit
Sewing Machine: Apple Fall - Vintage Sewing Machine
Other Sewing Props: ANTAYA - Tailor Set in Pack 1
Backdrop: Synnergy.Tavis - Briar Court {360} Backdrop

Sneaky Fairy GodPossums!

I'm super tired after a long day at work today and I cannot wait until it's time for bed... I'm home now though and tomorrow I'll be having a lazy at home day... Right now though I NEED to get my brain relaxing... I'm going to put on  some old children's cartoons or something and let the colours drag me away to a happy, restful place... 

For some reason my mind started getting all excited thinking about the original, and therefore best, version of the My Little Ponies, which in turn led to my brain getting Rudh all rainbowed up and sparkling for a trip to a My Little Pony-esque world... 
A world inhabited by the Poodle Ponies - from Tardfish at the Gacha Garden until September 30th - and the MishMish Fairies, who live at the Dollhouse Castle - which is a backdrop from FOXCITY - peacefuly enjoying the happiness even though they have the occasional visit from the sneaky Fairy Godpossums - an ACCESS release from Aardvark - to steal their candies and flower petals... 

What is she wearing;
Hair: Ayashi - Hayato hair in Anime Set
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Eye Make-Up: Suicidal Unborn!- Nerezza Eyeshadow Rainbow
Eyes: Izzie's - Angel Mesh Eyes
Freckle Make-Up: Izzie's - Rainbow Glitter Freckles
Neck Sparkles: MOoH! - Beyonce Necklace Mix
Body Paint: Izzie's - Rainbow Powder Explosion
Wings: Doe - Dawnwood Wings
Dress: MOoH! - Lulia Dress Color
Bracelet: Izzie's - 80's Rainbow Bangles
Bodysuit: MOB - Fetiche  Swimsuit [BoM]
Sparkles: Cole's Corner - Glitterati
Pose & Lollipop Props: [piXit] - Oh Lolli Lolli, Pose F4R
Fluffy Fairies: Aardvark - Fairy Godpossum (Available until October 8th at ACCESS)
Ponies: Tardfish - Poodle Pony (Available until September 30th at The Gacha Garden)
Fairies: MishMish - Fairy
Backdrop: FOXCITY. Photo Booth - Dollhouse Castle