Sad, Trapped and Lost

I'm feeling very low today, I don't know why I mean aside from the random things that I usually complain about lately... I'm worried about people I care about are sick, I've got the stress of the house and the fact that HellBone is getting stressed and pissed and overdoing things, and I'm very very very tired... Today, nothing is making me feel happy, and I need to find a way to get my head above water...

I feel like I'm sitting alone in the dark and I am just going through the motions to keep my brain working and not breaking... I'm trying to keep my joyful attitude joyful by bouncing around on one of the Gummy Chairs - a release from Junk Food - that has been abandoned in my mind since my teens. 
I'm feeling shite, I'm sorry that I've been ranting here and there and I'm just wishing I could go home and spend some time with my Mum... I wish I could be there to help her and I wish that I could get back to my own home... 

What is she wearing;
Hair: [monso] - Choco Hair in Black & Red
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Collar & Chains: random.Matter - Neze Collar
Top: Mug - Morgana Top in Black
Body Dirt: Izzie's - Face & Body Dirt
Jeans: Mug - Christina Jeans in Gray
Feet Dirt: Izzie's - Dirty Feet
Pose: -Extra- - Dockside Daydream, Pose 1
Chair: Junk Food - Gummy Chair in Black
Hanging Decor: Static - Backwood Wards
Garbage: UrBaN SpIrIt - Garbage Day in Large Trash Bag Pile
Floor Litter: DRD - San Mora Item in City Trash Ground
Backdrop: Paparazzi - BACKDROP - Scrawled Hall 5

Money Can Be Spirited Away

So you may know that HellBone and I are currently living somewhere that's not home while our house is being rennovated... If you haven't I don't blame you for ignoring my ranting over the past few weeks LOL, but it's one of the bigger stresses of my life right now, and I'm rambling about it A LOT... Anyway, luckily in this process we're being assisted with government subsidies, and it's not a brag it's a moment of "thank god" because everything is SO FECKING EXPENSIVE... We had to go buy a new toilet today... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THOSE THINGS COST?! I know that there are costs of manufacture and for the sales company, but they are getting things cost price and it seems the consumer is getting bit in the butthole... Is it greed or is it necessity these days?!

I know talking about money can sometimes seem crass... I'd never ask anyone about their income or share mine with the world for that matter but they always say that money makes the world go round. They also say that it doesn't make you happy, but at the same time that's not enitrely true is it... If you don't have enough to live on or with then you're more likely to be a stressed and unhappy person... It seems though that these days everything is SUPER expensive, and yes I get it's because of all of the war taking place and the cost of living has naturally increased but life gets more expensive by the minute! 
Even the spirits that guard the world's most secretive vaults are concerned... There seems to be an explosion and a drainage of captial here, there and everywhere... Our little Spirit Guide - ears and a tail set from HAZEL by the way - is concened because her soul key - which is actually the Dungeon Keys from [NoRush] that sit in her chest - are no longer needed by the powers that be... They can just raise prices so the people that need her keys are left to suffer... 

What is she wearing;
Ears & Tail: HAZEL - SPIRIT GUIDE BUNDLE
Hair: Wasabi - Story Hair in Offbeat
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Mask: BeSpoke - Mask Skull FatPack
Wings: everfaery - Lelia Wings
Tattoos: Lilithe' -  Hildr Tattoos
Dress: everfaery - Yvette Dress (Available until May 15th at Lewd Station)
Keys & Keyhole: [NoRush] - Dungeon Keys
Sparkles: Cole's Corner - Glitterati
Gold Fingers: Izzie's - Gold Dipped Fingertips
Money Food: Hangry - Rich bites in Take Out Box & Take Out Box Chopsticks
Pose: [piXit] - Cyberbilly, Pose 7R
Decor & Backdrop: [Bad Unicorn] - 'The Heat' Gacha Collection

Time to Rehydrate

I had a day off and decided to spend the day with lots of music and dancing and it made getting my chores done much, much, much more interesting... I'm on a happy cloud nine where music is concerned at the moment... Next month I get to go back to the UK to see Take That - as well as my parents and sister - and yesterday I booked tickets for HellBone's Birthday to see Five Finger Death Punch on their anniversary tour in Europe next year... I know that they are total opposites musically but I LOVE both... I'm a happy girl now... 

So today, I've taken myself out for a little more dancing, the club "Night by Cyber" - a backdrop from Vile - I got dressed up in the most Divine Set - from Psycho Barbie - the comes with a gorgeous spiked corset, dress, garters and stockings. The metal spikes reflect the light and the shiny fabric will catch the eye... 
As much as dancing is fun, I might have to take a few minutes for some fresh air and a chance to sneakily rehydrate - from my Midnight Flask by Boutique #187 at the current round of Dubai - before I head back in to dance some more... I'm not as young as I used to be, this is a lot harder than it looks... 

What is she wearing;
Hair: Wasabi - Blush Hair in Offbeat
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Collar: GABRIEL - Slave Chain Necklace in Black
Drink: Boutique #187 - Midnight Flask (Available until May 15th at DUBAI)
Phone: REIGN.- Coven Phone Collection Gacha Item in Weirdos
Outfit: Psycho Barbie - [Divine Set - Fatpack]
Pose: [piXit] - Juliette, Pose F4
Backdrop: [Vile] - Night by Cyber Backdrop

A Day in the Sun

Where I am currently living at the moment is close to a very local marina, it sounds glamorous but it's pretty much the opposite it seems... I mean it looks pretty in the sunshine, but doesn't everywhere really?! What I really want is to be somewhere that's a little bit more interesting with some glamorous vibes and some a chance to get away from reality... 

Since it won't happen in RL, I've decided to take a day away from things in SL and take a trip down to the Santamaria Pier - an old but still cute backdrop from Synnergy.Tavis - kick off my shoes and don my sunhat to keep the sun from my eyes... 

What is she wearing;
Hat & Hair: Doe - Makina
Earrings: miss chelsea - Lior Set in Hoops (Available until May 30 at Anthem)
Top: miss chelsea - Lior Set in Top (Available until May 30 at Anthem)
Belly Chains: miss chelsea - Lior Set in Belly Chains (Available until May 30 at Anthem)
Shorts: miss chelsea - Lior Set in Shorts (Available until May 30 at Anthem)
Shoes: Tentacio - Primrose Sneaker
Bag: dust bunny - Picking Daisies Bag in Dark Brown
Pose: [piXit] - Juliette, Pose F1
Backdrop: Synnergy.Tavis - Santamaria Pier {360} Backdrop

Feel the Force?!

It's Star Wars Day... Here in the Netherlands it's actually Dodenherdenking, to remember those that have falled in times of war as tomorrow is actually the rememberance day of the Netherlands being freed from Nazi control at the end of WW2... Hell is observing this, I am partially paying respects but I kinds feel a little guilt - even though the Brits were some of the Allied Forces that helped to free the Netherlands - for all of the destruction that was caused on route to the freedom, and so I choose to celebrate Star Wars Day with a little chaos from a galaxy far, far away... 

I doubt there would be any spoilers here, but now that Darth Sideous is gone and there are lots of people on either side have spread out across the galaxy, there has to be a way to decide which side will top trumps... 
I think I'm definitely veering more towards the thrills of the Dark Side, I mean I read enough Smut full of dark boys and their darker pleasures... The good boys were really never my thing... 
Whatever you feel like doing today... May the Fourth be with you today!!!

What is she wearing;
Headdress & Hair: Curemore - Star Gals Gacha Item in Royal Hair Red
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Eye Make-Up: Gorsimi - Slatra Shadows
Lipstick: PSYCHO:Byts - Sadayakko Lipsticks Pack
Choker: random.Matter - Vanir Collar in Cool Tones
Necklace: random.Matter - Briar Necklace
Sabers: [Krescendo] - Starwhores Toys (Some parts of the item have been edited, please see the original here)
Dress: NeverWish - Star Fall Dress (Available until May 10th at Fantasy Faire Canny Valley)
Halos: Curemore - Star Gals Gacha Item in Parade Halo PURE & CURELESS[+] - Pygmalion's Bride Gacha Item in Goddess Touch Halo BLACK
Pose: [piXit] - Athanasia, Pose F4
Orb: Curemore - Star Gals Gacha Item in Death Orb WHITE
Stars: CREATiCA - Glowing Panels in Stars
Backdrop: H&C - Darth Sidious Scene

Fairy Defence in the Darkness!

Sometimes I have a craving when it comes to blogging to do things that are NOT normal and let myslf get lost in a fairytale, be that a good or a dark one... Being lost in a fairytale really helps me with my mental state and right now being lost feels like a great idea. There is just too much going on in my own little world, as well as in the real world, and without complaining here too much I feel like I'm losing the battle pretty fast... So step back from the norm Rudh and find a way to embrace the darkness... My darkness feels like a HUGE monster, lets make him more friendly and things will calm down once more?! I hope... 

In the garden of the Spinners, my monster floats through the light that breaks through the trees and the darkness... He's a cloaked Hornswoggle - made by Tardfish, available at the Fantasy Faire Aventurine Promenade to raise money for Race for Life - and though he lurks in the dark, when he comes into the light he's a lot less scary and more like a Ringwraith from the Lord of the Rings... 
He's always trying to scare the fae folk that wander through the gardens.. Rudh as a sassy little fae isn't one to mess with. I guess that's why I decided to take on my monster as a fae today... She's a little thorny, but she sparkles in the dark so that the monsters are intimidated. She's armed with her Willowvine Wand - from Simply Shelby at the Fantasy Faire Stoneveil Crossing Sim - and the magic within will keep her monster at bay... 

What is she wearing;
Hair Flowers & Thorns: LODE - Thorns & Grace Gacha Items
Hair: Truth & FAGA - Pendulum in Redhead
Glasses: Violetility - Thorn-Rimmed Glasses (Available until May 18th at The Warehouse)
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Wings: Doe - Dawnwood Wings in Magic
Necklace: KOSH - THE LEAF NECKLACE
Vines: Static - Luminettle Arm Vine in Brown
Wand: Simply Shelby - Willowvine Wand in Elder (Available until May 10th at Fantasy Faire Stoneveil Crossing)
Dress: Faunus - Eryl Dress
Sparkles: Cole's Corner - Glitterati & Starstuff
Pose: [piXit] - Not So Lovely Lolli, Pose 4
Monster: Tardfish - Hornswoggle in Comic (Available until May 10th at Fantasy Faire Aventurine Prominade Sim)
Backdrop: FOXCITY. Photo Booth - Spinner's Crypt II (Modified a little by removing some of the sunlight rays & the Wall, please see original Here)

Peaceful Fluttering

Today is the last day of April and that means we're already a quater through the year, the Spring has almost totally sprung and Summer is on the way, PLUS HellBone and I are almost half way through the rennovations to the house and SOON we can go back home... I cannot wait... I'm counting down the days, not wishing the year away or anything but I want to be home SO MUCH... It's kinda hard to believe that I was excited about this little "adventure"... I'm trying to hold my shit together currently and wishing for ways to not crack... 

I need to disappear into a place of peace and quiet, never to return but always to be here for my family especially at the moment since Mum is sick and Dad needs the support to look after her.. HellBone needs to be looked after since he's over-stressed due to the rebuilding... 
All I want now is someone to look after me... I wish there was someone to help me feel better... Someone help me find peace... 

What is she wearing;
Hair: Magika - Millie Hair
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Robe: SOUJOUR - Vintage Robe
Top: miss chelsea - Cora Set in Corset (Available until May 17th at Shotgun Pop Up Events)
Pants: miss chelsea - Cora Set in Pants (Available until May 17th at Shotgun Pop Up Events)
Pose & Cage Prop: [piXit] - Farfalle, Pose F3
Butterflies: Elm - Aurielle Decor in Flying Butterflies Cool
Backdrop: Synnergy.Tavis - Butterfly Conservatory {360} Backdrop