Single Wishes Could Be Enough!

How do I even contemplate writing something like this? I’ve been going around and around in my brain, trying to work out how to share this little bit of RL with you all recently and did I even want to talk about something so personal, in such a public way, in a random SL based blog post. This is my rambling space and a place I’ve always called my personal therapy but this post is one of the hardest I’ve ever had to share, I feel it’s something that I need to talk about, I just don’t know where to begin or how… 
You may have seen here in recent months that I had been talking more about my RL mum, and using this as a place to vent my emotions… Well, I guess that’s where we will start this story…

In November last year, mum was admitted to hospital in pain and very, very yellow - I’m talking, she could have been an extra in the Simpsons kinda yellow - and it was discovered there were issues with her pancreas… 
After Christmas, my sister and I were told it was Pancreatic Cancer.
I can already see the face that you just pulled as you read this, it’s the face that everyone pulled when we shared the news and, although I knew it was bad, I tried to brush it off and remain positive… 
In June however, when I went home to see family, we were told she did not have long left… Let me tell you, leaving to come back to the Netherlands was almost unbearable - it has always been hard but nothing like this - it was mum’s wish though. She wanted me to get home and finish the renovation project on our house. She said she wanted to be able to come see it, and she wanted to know I was happy in my own home again. So after returning home on July 1st, the hubby and I were working our asses off to get it done…
A week later, we heard from my dad that mum had been taken into palliative care in the local hospice, where they would give her the best care since it was becoming too much for him at home. She was ok… She said she had some “very nice young male nurses” - that her friends told me she enjoyed some silly giggles with - to make sure she was eating and allowed her to listen to her favorite Take That songs. 
On July 18th, mum passed away…
I was in Holland, but my sister had just got back to my parent’s house from her home in Wales… Someone was there with dad, that’s was a good thing, but I was not there at the time and I still feel such overwhelming guilt about that… All I wanted was a hug from my dad and sister! 
I did not get to see mum, and it may sound strange but for me that was OK. Goodbye felt like such a difficult word to say. I’d seen her recently and she’d been able to smile and hug me and tell me that she loved me, that’s what I wanted to remember. She wanted me to remember her as the vibrant sunshine that she was… The woman who was a carboot sale queen, a belly dancer, a jeweller, a mum and the best friend I could have ever asked for…
So, that brings me to the picture I’ve taken today… I had been doing a little shopping to try and cheer myself up. I discovered the “single wish sticks” - from Violetility, available until August 18th at The Warehouse - and plans changed. I knew what I wanted to wish for… I wasn’t crazy enough to wish that she’d come back… I know the lore on how that works, and I also know that she’s not in any pain now which is more than I could ever want for her, but I have a wish to hear her voice just one last time… I wish I could see her laugh at me again… I wish I could give her another tight hug and let her know that I love her…
I dunno if these gimmicky gadgets will work, but anything is worth a try… Wish me luck and thank you for reading my ramblings!!!

What is in the photo;
Wish Sticks: Violetility - Single Wish Stick (Available until August 18th at The Warehouse)
Frames: random.Matter - Triptych in Oak (Available until August 20th at Midnight Order)
Mug & Incense: Candle & Cauldron - Mug Incense Burner (Available until August 20th at Midnight Order)
Rabbit: Moonforge - Jackalope
Hand Book: Tentacio - Sebaciel Collection in Spell Book 
Leaf Book: mintae - Garden Notes in Botanic Journal
Book Stand: BALACLAVA!! - Witches' Book
Gold Cauldron: Elm - Margot Cauldron #1
Black Cauldron: random.Matter - Cracked Cauldron in Black 
Candles: BALACLAVA!! - Candelabra
Doily: Deco Soup - Vintage Doily
Table: Apple Fall - Hudson Desk in Weathered Oak
Backdrop: VARONIS - Sanctum Backdrop in Dark/Neutral 

Angellic Sacrifice

So today I had to have the day off for a Snow Day, the busses couldn't run and tomorrow I'll be home again which is giving me a chance to feel a little more rested and lot less nervous. Though I will say that the thought of going out in the snow instantly causes my anxiety to appear and I start feeling a little sick on the inside... Friday I have to go to work, Friday is a whole day away, while I have the day at home, I am going to spend the day hoping beyond all hope that the snow clears up so that it's NOT slippery on Friday... 

I don't know if the weather spirits will be able to help but I think that maybe I'll have to find a way to ask those in a higher power... No matter which of the dark gods is there and willing to help, I'll take any help... I'll leave them any kind of gift that they want, I'll sacrifice the Angels so that I can make it into work safely without slipping on Friday and Saturday... I can't not go to work again, I'm letting other people down and I HATE that, and on top of the feelings I am already dealing with, the thought of going out where it's slippery is just the knock my anxiety needs... SO, lets summon the dark gods and light the candles, as a Wax Witch - which happens to be the name of the candles worn on Rudh's shoulders from Static, available until January 18th at The Warehouse - has chained an angel into their magical ring and now we wait... 

What is she wearing;
Hair: Magika - Selene Hair
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Collar & Chains: random.Matter - Neze Collar & Chains
Candles: Static - Wax Witch (Available until January 18th at The Warehouse)
Wings: Doe - Romantic Wings in Black White Red
Back Piercing: Six Feet Under - Chained Obsession
Sparkles: Cole's Corner - Glitterati
Pose: FOXCITY - Fuego, Pose 1m
Circle: Tentacle Experiment - Summon Circle in Rainbow
Books: random.Matter - The Summoning in Demon Book, Dots - Spellbook in Poison & dust bunny - Beach Day in Breezy Book
Candles: Botanical - Candle Scatter
Candle Sticks: BALACLAVA!! - Candelabra
Candlabras: hive - Floor Candelabra in Wrought Iron
Pose: FOXCITY. Photo Booth - Birth of Venus

Preserving the Beauty

I always seem to start my blog posts complaining about working and being tired... I'm sorry about that but it's my permanent state of being at the moment... Today was one of those weird ass days when I've not had to work because I'm shift swapping so my boss can be off for mother's day tomorrow... 
I've had time on my hands, I've been trying to relax and find myself a with some time on my hands to do something new... 

I've never been into the thought of stuffed animals, unless they are the plushie kind, or taxidermy of any kind be it big game or the tiniest little instects. I LOVE seeing them in the wild, I LOVE the butterfly house at the zoo and I'm not averse to eating the animals but they should be treated with respect and raised fairly... It seems like the kind of decor that Rudh might go for in SL though, it would be perfect decor for her little cottage core life whie the butterflies flit in and out of the windows on the breeze... 

What is in the picture;
Taxidermy: random.Matter - The Taxidermist Set I & II
Window: Elm - Aurielle Window
Flowers: {vespertine} - Summer Wildflowers Hinged Vase
Paint: Kalopsia - Seraphine's Paint Box (No Longer Available!)
Pencils: random.Matter - Craft Corner in Pencils Green
Clock: Nutmeg - Sunroom Clock
Bones: Magika - Small Bones (Past Group Gift)
Lantern: Schadenfreude - Portable Forest: Toadstools
Net: [noctis] - Entomologist's Net
Skull Plant: Schadenfreude - D. muscipula, yellowed Felis skull in Fly
Glue Gun: [InsurreKtion] - Craft Room in Glue Gun
Bird Cage: BALACLAVA!! - Bird Cage
Bird: Quills & Curiosities - Feathered Familiar
Left Plant: {what next} - Snake Plant
Right Plant: Ariskea - [Millie] Anthurium Doty Plants
Bookshelves: random.Matter - Librarium in Bookdesk RARE
Table: Scarlet Creative - The Arcade Dec 15 Campbell Desk
Backdrop: TROPIX - Vintage Room 04

Mexican or Tex-Mex?! It All Tastes GREAT!!!

Today is important for a few things... In the Netherlands it's Freedom Day, the day liberation from Nazi occupation in 1945, so the whole country is celebrating. It's also an important day for the Mexican's who are celebrating their victory against the French in 1862... Now I will totally be the first to admit that I'm NOT at all sure of anything relating to this important day for the Mexicans, but I'd love to learn... Maybe we should make a little fiesta of it... 

Now OK I will also admit that I'm not sure about anything Mexican really either... It´s a country that I want to visit, it´s on my bucket list and maybe one day I wil make it down there, but for now I hope people will excuse me if I mix up Mexican and Tex-Mex cuisines... It's not really something that is differentiated between where I am in the world... 
I've tried to cater for everyone, because let's face it, it's ALL DELICIOUS... A huge pot of chili in the crock pot, and a HUGE plate of loaded nachos... I have Chicken Quesadilas and Beef Empanadas, that I hear go best with a glass of whiskey on the rocks... I'm going to Tex-Mex it up with a few Chili Dogs - from Junk Food - and maybe serve those with a shot or two of Ole Jose Tequila to wash everything down... 

What is she wearing;
Chili Dogs: Junk Food - Chili Dog Set
Filled Jalapenos: Junk Food - Jalapeno Poppers v1
Pinata: Magnetic - Party Pinata
Steak & Fajitas: Junk Food - Steak Fajitas
Empanadas: Lucas Lameth - Beef Empanadas & Whisky Cocktails
Nachos: dust bunny - Spicy Fiesta in Loaded Nachos
Quesadilla: Lucas Lameth - Chicken Quesadilla
Corn: dust bunny - Spicy Fiesta in Grilled Corn
Slow Cooker: dust bunny - Chili Days in Slow Cooker
Tequila: Junk Food - Ole Jose Tequila
Flowers: Pitaya - Teste di moro Vase in Yellow
Chili: BALACLAVA - Chili Pepper Cluster
Table: 8f8 - New Beginnings in Table

Soup of the Season... PUMPKIN!

I've had a lovely, lazy day off, in which I've done nothing too much more than a little bit of laundry and washing a couple of dishes. Besides that I decided to plan something delicious for dinner, I love having the chance to spend time, planning what I want to cook, and I also spend far too often blogging around dinner time so that my blogging seems to focus on food hehe... 
Today I went down to the local farm, a place called Sunset Rising where the pumpkin patch is already teeming with brilliant orange pumpkins... It's Pumpkin Season! YAY!!

I went with a new friend, a cute little wonky donkey - from Jian - into the field to find a few delicious looking pumpkins. It's not the right time of year yet to get myself pumpkins to crave, though that will come soon, but I have a hankering for some fresh, home-made pumpkin soup. I picked what I needed, promising the rest that I'd come back later, and dipped into the barn to my make-shift kitchen... 
Posing for a snapshot with my Pick of the Patch - a pose from -Extra- - it was time to carve the pumpkin up for some delicious soup... 

What is she wearing;
Hat & Hair: Doe - Autumn
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Sweater: JustBECAUSE - Cami Sweater in TSS4
Pants: Vinyl - Fallout Open Fly Jeans Pak in TSS Tartan Gold
Pose & Pumpkin: -Extra- - Pick of the Patch, Pose 4
Pumpkin Soup Bowls: dust bunny - Taste of Autumn
Pan: dust bunny - Homemade Soup in Pot of Soup Copper
Stove: BALACLAVA - Fuji Kerosene Heater in Holiday Red
Mushrooms: Elm. - Mushroom Harvest in Porcini Natural
Vase: {vespertine} - Bunch of Autumn Branches
Table Pumpkin Basket: BROKEN ARROWS - Pumpkin Farm in Colorful Pumpkin Basket
Table: dust bunny - Autumns Calling Set Item in Wood Table
Donkey: JIAN - Donkey Collection
Pumpkin Basket: [Merak] - Pumpkin Basket
Pumpkin Cart: hive - Pumpkin Patch Wagon
Hay: hive - Harvest Hay Set
Truck: [Merak] - Autumn Truck Decor
Wreath: Apple Fall - Pumpkin Harvest Wreath
Building: Compulsion - Riviera Barn
Falling Leaves: hive - Falling Leaves
Backdrop: SYNNERGY.TAVIS - Sunset Rising [360] Backdrop 

Tricks or Treats at the Movies

A couple of days ago, one of my favourite events to blog opened and I'm very excited about it as it means that Halloween is getting closer... I LOVE this event because it reminds me of one of those things I've always wanted to do. It was never really a thing in the UK while I was a child, but I've always wanted to be able to Trick or Treat in the way it's done in the States... That's why Trick or Treat Lane always seemed like such a fun event for me... 
Still failing that, since I cant Trick or Treat in Holland either, I'm going to just resign the fact that I won't be doing it again this year, and watch some cool movies instead... 

In a local old movie theater, they are playing some of the Horror Greats, and I think I may start with a little Friday the 13th... Before the movie starts I do have a little TOTL inspired look of the day - with some other fun stuff thrown in for fun! 
Yes it's a barely there outfit, thanks to a bodysuit from OOPS - which you can still grab now at Necrosis - but it was purely because I wanted to show of these fab socks and Luna Mary Janes from 1313 Mockingbird Lane! The colours and patterns make for some really funky Halloween shoes for those of you that only live Halloween in October... I'll be using these ALL YEAR!!! 
I found someone else that really liked them too... While I was getting up to go grab I nice bottle of Bubble Magic Potion, a HILTED Zombie grabbed for my shoes, and while I was running away his hand got attached to my leg!!! BEWARE ADORABLE SHOES AROUND ZOMBIES!!!

What is she wearing;
Hat & Hair: KUNI - Ashley in Fatpack 
Skin: Glam Affair - Seya in Europa 2 
Choker: [ bubble ] - Witch Choker (Available until November 2nd at Trick or Treat Lane) 
Jacket: Pseudo - Trucker Jacket in Black 
Bodysuit: OOPS - Danisa Bodysuit in Red Leather (Available until October 12th at Necrosis) 
Bottle: [ bubble ] - Magic Potion Bottle (Available until November 2nd at Trick or Treat Lane) 
Socks & Shoes: 1313 Mockingbird Lane - Luna Mary Janes (Available until November 2nd at Trick or Treat Lane) 
Hand: HILTED - Zombie Grabber in Green (Available until November 2nd at Trick or Treat Lane) 
Pose: Secret Poses - Melania, Pose 7 
Backdrop: Pseudo - Movie Theather Scene (Available for use at Backdrop City) 
Popcorn: Apple Fall - Buttery Popcorn 
Candy Buckets: BALACLAVA - Bloody Candy Bucket 
Floor Candy: Lovely Alien - MedleyCandies 
Candy Pile: Garbaggio - Pile Of Candy 
Dog: JIAN - Sneaky Snacker in Popcorn Chihuahua 
Posters: H&C - Fright Series in Hands Fright 

Daddy's Halloween Treat

With Halloween coming, one of the things I used to love was the Trick or Treating... I LOVED coming home with a huge pile of sweeties and then making myself sick - although I didn't love that part quite so much LOL - but in SL there's lots of Trick or Treating to be done! 
Rudhie dressed up as a cute little devil, with a human head as her candy bucket... The bucket got filled and she was a happy little Rudhie, but there was just one problem... She'd been dragging her "Daddy" around as her chaperone, and well... he decided that it was time to get his treats the moment they walked through their front door... 

His treats were a lot different than the candy they'd collected... 
His treat was to remove the cute little demon outfit she'd been teasing him in all night, and lock her somewhere she cannot move while he has a treat! His ghost costume gets cast off and hung over the nearest piece of furniture, before he yanks down her little red shorts and... bursts out laughing!! 
That was definitely a treat, the reveal of her pretty pumpkin painted bottom - thanks to MJN and their Glitter Bum applier! 
Taking you back out of the dirty little fantasy though, I want to point out the AMAZING furniture collection from Fapple! It's their Halloween Set and it includes everything, with the exception of her Halloween Costume Items... That's right you get the stocks and rug, the fireplace and ALL it's décor, the sideboard and the décor on that too, PLUS the chair and door with the ghost costume, there's even one or two other treats included that I haven't shown here too! You should check out the set at the Fapple mainstore!!! 

What is she wearing;
Hair: [Atomic] - Devilish in Fire Engine 
Skin: Glam Affair - Seya in Europa 2 
Butt Tattoo: [MJN] - Glitter Bum 
Shorts: BOOM - Cozy Shorts in Cherry 
Furniture: Fapple - Halloween Set 
Head Bucket: BALACLAVA - Bloody Candy Bucket 
Tail: Caboodle - Demon Tail in Red 
Fork: tiptoes - Devil Pitchfork in Black 
Bikini Top: Half-Deer - Carefree Bikini Clutter 
House: Scarlet Creative - Prairie Cottages 

Morning, it's Time for Bed!

Today is one of those days... The kinda day you feel like hiding and not coming out, yet you force yourself to keep going no matter what. Nothing seems to be going right, I feel like I'm coming down with my second cold of the season ALREADY and I just want to sleep more than anything else. Yet I'm trying to be good, I'm trying to keep moving and hoping that there is a spark somewhere that livens things up?!
Rudh on the other hand...

She's been out partying to try and liven things up, and apparently is having to do the walk of shame down a seedy hotel corridor as the cleaning staff start their morning rounds.
Her outfit is a cute one though - a Kalel mix-n-match look from epoch, that is available until September 30th at anyBody - it's kinda autumnal cute party girl?!
Avoiding the Paparazzi at Backdrop City, she slinks down the corridor, hoping not to be seen by the cleaning team and darts into her room for some sleep, she'll be out partying later but for now, maybe sleep is the healer?!

What is she wearing;
Hair: DOUX - Cintia Hair in Reds (Available until October 10th at Tres Chic)
Skin: Glam Affair - Seya in Europa 2
Collar: DAZED - Afterlife Collar in Raven
Jacket: villena - Pelted Fur Jacket in Black
Top: epoch - Kalel Shirt in mint-khaki-grey (Available until September 30th at anyBody)
Skirt: epoch - Kalel Skirt in mint-khaki-grey (Available until September 30th at anyBody)
Shoes: [BREATHE] - Lena Heels in Black 
Pose: Secret Poses - The Feeling, Pose 1 (Available until October 8th at The Sense Event) 
Backdrop: Paparazzi - Hotel Hallway in BLUEGREY (Available for use at Backdrop City) 
Cleaning Supplies: {what next} - Housekeepers Box Decor in Cream 
Laundry Cart: BALACLAVA - Laundry Cart in Clean 
Rug: Fapple - Angel Oak Rectangle Rug 2 

If You Go Down To The Woods Today...

If you go down to the woods today, 

You're sure of a big surprise, 

If you go down to the woods today, 

You'd better go in disguise! 

For every bear that ever there was, 

Will gather there for certain because, 

Today's the day that all the bears have their "slaughter"... 

It's not the slaughter of the bears I'm referring to here... Oh no no, Today's the day that all the bears get to go out and Slaughter... Bears of all shapes and sizes - Grizzlies and Polars, Brown Bears and Pandas, even our beloved Teddy Bears are joining in this year's horror massacre, and from the sound of it, they are all having a damn good time as they wander through the forest of The Forgotten!! 
This cute little Teddy Bear, or is that a cleverly disguised human with blood on their mind, seems to be having a wonderful time, displaying a trap as a necklace with... is that... it is!! A human head bucket of candy! 
It's dark in these woods, and unluckily for you the candle just blew out!!!
For those of you interested to know about the details that went into making this picture which in turn became a crazy story in my mind, it all started with me spotting this AMAZING Teddy Bear Mask by Katat0nik. I HAD TO HAVE IT! This wasn't just a want, this was a need... To make things even more exciting about this mask it was FREE all I needed to do was hunt for it... You can get this mask, along with a lot of other awesome goodies as a prize for the Ironwood Hills Hunt until November 5th. Dressed in a Bloody Fae Dress from Kaithleen's, and accessorised with a Tabou Punisher Trap, Bare Rose Gloves and lots of blood, the teddy bear me carries a Head Bucket from Balaclava and a lamp which comes with the pose from Nightmare's Never Slumber Pose Set. 
Now one last thing, If you go down to the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise... 

What is she wearing;
Mask: katat0nik - Teddy Bear Masks (Available until November 5th at Ironwood Hills Hunt) 
Bear Trap: Tabou - Punisher Chained Trap RARE 
Dress: Kaithleen's - Bloody Fae Dress in White 
Body Blood: Izzie's - Face & Body Blood & Wounds 
Glove: Bare Rose - Black B-Gloves Lady 
Bag: BALACLAVA - Head Buckets in Bloody Candy Bucket Filled 
Pose & Lamp Prop: Nightmare - Never Slumber Pose Set in Pose 1 (Available until November 4th at The Dark Style Fair 5) 

Open the Curtains on the Cab

First thing, Monday Morning and DAMN I'm wishing that weekends lasted longer... I feel like mine just disappeared in the blink of my eye... I didn't even really do much besides a lil bit of picture taking and a lot of cleaning!?!
Talking of taking pictures, sometimes you get lucky and make something amazing, and others well you end up thinking they are a little less so - these become you're lessons that help you get better I find - yet yesterday when I was messing around looking for a set of things to set up to take pictures of, this happened...

I know, it shocked me too LOL... It's actually pretty good innit?! The composition came first, which for me is unusual! I had this AMAZING Checkered Cab seat from Consignment - which you can grab for yourself at Uber this month - and to go with it I bought a really cute Signal Lamp decor from BALACLAVA on Friday, but there was something missing... Then as I was digging through other things that I'd been sent to blog recently I stumbled upon how cool the cab looked with these Grand Supped Curtains from Paper Moon... It wasn't conventional but it looked AWESOME! Least I thought so, and that was it, I just needed to get dressed. Though I did add a little extra decoration from WorN in the form of the Goth Warning Sign LOL, I think it sums up my blog and personality fairly well lol...
The outfit was a little harder to pull together than the setting for some weird reason... I tried this gorgeous Dead Dollz Marla Corset in a gold colour to match the settings, and it looked great but how would I accessorise this look... Then for some reason I was pulled towards a parasol... I found one from ImmateriA called Oh My Goth, if you look closely you will see that it's made from Spider Webs!!! How cool is that?! Then as a finishing touch, and to stick with that vintage tight-rope walker look I was going for - somehow it happened, I don't know how LOL - I pulled on a pair of Reign "Fiona" Boots to complete my outfit.
OH and one more thing I wanted to mention... The light orbs in the air... If you haven't been to We <3 RP yet, you should JUST for these!! They are a creation of the store ALEGRIA, the dancing fireflies are a gorgeous addition to any picture... I've used them for one of the best random collection pictures I've made as well as a very romatic wedding announcement photo that will be shared soon... They are a brilliant prop for any photographer to own!!!
I know it's a random collection of things but I have to say I LOVE how it turned out...

What is she wearing;
Hair: LeLutka - Dalila hair in Red
Skin: Glam Affair - Lauren in America 07 (Past Collabor88 Item)
Wounds (Including Face & Doll Carvings): antielle - The Alchemical Transformation (Past The Epiphany Release)  
Lip Piercing: Cute Poison - Wounded Piercing
Bodysuit: Dead Dollz - Marla in Gold (Available Now at We <3 RP)
Boots: REIGN.- Fiona Boots in Black
Umbrella: ImmateriA - Oh My Goth Parasol in Webs (Available Now at What The Goth)
Chair: Consignment - Checkered Cab Seat (Available Now at Uber)
Lights: ALEGRIA - Dancing Stars Fireflies in White Lights (Available Now at We <3 RP)
Wall Lamp: BALACLAVA - Signal Decor in Yellow (Past FLF Release)
Sign: <!WorN?> - Goth Warning Signs in Morbid Fascination
Curtains: Paper Moon - Grand Cupped Curtains in Rococo (Available Now at The Fantasy Collective)