Friday, June 8, 2012

Playing in a field of flowers...

Just a pretty picture. I was playing with the windlight settings and I can't remember what this was but I snapped the shot and then decided that I really like the way the lighting looks... Maybe it's weird but meh that's me lol... Plus I wanted to put up something pretty before the blech that follows... Please don't feel forced to read it, I just needed a release! *hugs and points up "Avoid the blechhhhhhh look at the prettyyyyyyy" LOL

Drama comes back to bite me on the ass and it takes my mood from a happy and bouncy one to rock bottom in nano seconds.The ins and outs of the drama would always be unimportant to anyone that wasn't directly involved but what matters more is the emotion stuffed behind it...
I found my emotions reached a breaking point recently. I confronted someone about something that had been bothering me for a while now and even though I hate confrontation normally and try to avoid drama like the plague, this time it couldn't be helped. I felt too strongly that what they were doing was unethical and totally unfair...
I won't be going into detail to anyone about what was said on either side, but I will say that when you think someone is your friend, they tell you on numerous occasions you are their best friend, and then you are used for personal gain, it feels like a knife blade to the heart. When you put your heart and soul into working for a goal, to find out that you mean nothing more to them than someone who is there to do their bidding, it cuts faster than a knife cuts through butter. 
Then on top of that they react like they are the victim, when in the past they have asked you to always be honest - which sometimes can be a little brutal I'll admit. How can you be honest with someone who doesn't like to hear your honest opinion? This time around it brought up trust issues, and in my mind, once the trust is gone - no matter what aspect of your relationship it affects - there is no coming back from that. 
Yesterday I lost a good "friend", someone I believed was a friend at any rate, and I never believed that I would have let someone walk all over me again, but I did. I may have lost that friend, and realised that once again I showed signs of weakness, yet my SL has been enriched in ways that I never would have imagined. Due to this person I met some amazing people and did things I never realised I had the skills for, so I guess I have to thank them...
"To the person who shall remain nameless, I doubt you will even read this now, but I have a lot to thank you for. You've held my hand through troubled times. You've helped me meet some amazing people. You've allowed me to expand my personal skills and taught me some new things. You've also given me a reminder that people are not always what they seem, and wolves will often wear sheep's clothing to get what they want and get where they want to be. I feel hurt and let down by your actions, in time I may forgive but forgetting will never be an option. In all this though, you've made me stronger, so thank you!"
Fledge says I am cursed, "an ancestor must have crossed a gypsy", and I am starting to think she is right...Drama does seem to follow me everywhere I go, and although I try to avoid it I never can quite get away! Still I won't be giving up on my SL anytime soon. There are people out there, and they know who they are, that make my SL something I cannot be without, and whats the old saying "when a door closes someone better open a window cause I had beans last night"... I will fight this, and I will come through shining, failure is not an option, I am strong and I have the most amazing support network ever!


  1. oh here we go!

    hun, no worries.. ppl that know, will understand, and we will always be by your side.
    i love oyu, and you have been a HUGE part of my sl life this year, and I am glad for it, you even just rolled with the punches when my aspergers has taken over.. you rock xoxo

  2. LMAO someone better open a window indeed...

    That's a really positive way to look at things, that she helped you to good things before you found out the wolf in the sheep costume. I suppose it illustrates that nobody is 100% bad, not even the greediest, laziest, most self-serving of two-faced thieving bitches! I don't think I will ever forgive or forget, I'm utterly disgusted by her attitude. And I've said it once but I'll say it again, it's not your fault because you couldn't see this one coming, and you didn't let her walk all over you, you gave her a chance (which is just being fair) and she blew it. Then you gave her the well-deserved finger. I'm hugely proud of you for sticking up for yourself (and others!) and I say let her get on without you and I hope it gives her a permanent headache.