A Tear and A Ted

I have had a day that has been a little mixed emotion-wise. Today was the funeral of an old family friend in the UK, he was someone I grew up with a little like an extra uncle and his wife was someone that I was very close to. She has been a rock for my mum whilst mum is undergoing her chemo treatments and I cannot be at home to help her. So it's been a day of thinking of the lady he left behind, the memories I have of him in the background of my childhood and my mother, who knew him well and is trying to keep her friend supported in this difficult time.. It's times like this when I HATE being so far away from the family. It's times like this when I feel like I'm not doing enough, and not being a good, supportive daughter... I'm trying not to cry as I say this but I miss my parents more than anything at the moment... 

I think I'm just feeling highly emotional... I turn 40 next Thursday and I won't be seeing my family. It's UK mother's day on Sunday and I won't be seeing my mother, and I guess I'm a little jealous that she's going to be seeing my sister instead but it's easier to go to her between chemo treatments than come all the way to Amsterdam. I'm living in a place that I don't like, that has no privacy and feels like I am CONSTANTLY at work. There are other things too but I am going to get through this and things will be better by the end of the year, I live in hope... 
I needed someone to love me, I needed to feel cozy and comfortable and cuddled... Teddy Bears and cuddly toys have always been my friend in this. I have lots and will keep collecting them and I cuddle them all, despite the fact that I am nearly 40. It is always a nice feeling to have something soft and sweet and friendly to cuddle, right?! For now, until I get a chance to see the family, facetime on the phone and cuddling teddies is the best that it's going to get... 

What is she wearing;
Hair: [monso] - Meiko Hair in Black & Red
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Eyes: Izzie's - Lua Eyes in Teary Eyes Green
Tear Make-Up: Izzie's - Little Tears & Smeared Mascara
Top: Mug - Serena Top in Olive
Shorts: Mug - Serena Shorts in Olive
LARGE Back Bear: Tardfish - Huggy Bear in Brown
Phone: Boutique #187 - Leather Phone Case 2.0
Pose & Teddy Prop: FOXCITY. Photo Booth - Sittin Pretty Bento Pose Set, Pose 5 (Available until April 6th at Collabor88)
Tissues: Puddles - Recovery Essentials in Tissues for your issues
Colourful Teddies: hive - My Colorful Teddy
Backdrop: FOXCITY. Photo Booth - Softly (Available until April 6th at Collabor88)

Collecting the Snacks

Another day off and one again all I could seem to think about was food... I WAS STARVING but as per usual I didn't have anything in the house that I wanted to eat LOL. Is that just the case for me or does everyone suffer this fate? I've never been a dieter, always allowing myself the things I like to eat but do it in moderation, if I didn't and tried to stop myself the moment that I'd get my hands on what I was craving I'd go crazy and eat far too much of it, but I still get times like this when the one thing that I want to eat is the one thing that we don't have in the house... 
So what did I actually want to eat... I'm not even sure I knew that and could tell you lol... 

I had to thinkof things that would distract me... It's not easy when I'm living in this current situation, I know I'm lucky to have a place to live but I really wish I could be moving back home already, and I can't even do what I'd normally do and play loud music to pay attention to other things. I cannot risk causing any disruption to the customers in the shop below the flat, or my boss will be pissed... 
So headphones are a permanent fixture on my head now, and today it was all about the loud emo rock of my teens... As I'm heading towards being 40, I am very much regressing back into my childhood loves LOL... Loud rock music, Cold coffee and Burgers till I pop... 

What is she wearing;
Hair: TRUTH - Nicki in Redhead
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Eye Make-Up: Gorsimi - Slatra Shadows
Collar: PSYCHO:Byts - Black Choker+Spike
Upper Necklace: AsteroidBox - Spike Pendant in Holo Version
Lower Necklace: LaGyo - Spooky Necklace
Top: NeverWish - Rawr Set in Spaghetti Strap Shirt
Arm Warmers: NeverWish - Rawr Set in Arm Warmers
Coffee: Junk Food - Coffee Bucket in LIGHT BREW
Burgers: Junk Food - Burger Bucket in RED
Belt: NeverWish - Rawr Set in Pyramid Spike Belt
Skirt: NeverWish - Rawr Set in Skirt
Pose: [piXit] - Not So Lovely Lolli, Pose 4
Backdrop: K&S - // Underground

An Elemental in the Moonight

Can you tell that today was one of my days off? I'm not feeling so tried and finding it hard to find words for everything that I want to say... I'm happy after a long, lazy day off... It was lovely, and it helped me find the magic in my mind and let my magic come to life... 

I closed my eyes and let my mind wander to magical places... It lead to a walk in the midnight forest - a photobooth from FOXCITY called "Midnight" - and after stepping into the forest the fae took control calling her inner fae within her soul... Once her magic took control she found her dance through the forest to be more connected to the Earth Elemental - a collection released from Faunus, worn with a beautiful Eileen Gown  also from Faunus - and she danced in the moonlight... 

What is she wearing;
Mushroom Hair Accessory: random.Matter - Elihu Mushroom Crown
Hair: Magika - Elowyn Hair
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Body Paint, Crown, Epaulets & Halo: Faunus - Earth elemental
Wings: Doe - Firefly Wings in Blue Green Yellow
Dress: Faunus - Eileen Gown
Sparkles: Cole's Corner - Glitterati & Starstuff
Pose: [piXit] - Octobria, Pose F5R
Backdrop: FOXCITY. Photo Booth - Midnight

Tulip Season!

The sun has been shinging so much lately and it really feels like feels like the Spring has finally sprung  around here. I love all of the flowers that seem to be popping up, and brightening up the world and I SERIOUSLY think there are so many peopleout there that need to stop and smell the flowers. The world is a scary place right now, and things are chaos and it's more than a little scary. We all need to stop and smell the flowers... 

One of the best places to get themselves a lovely place to stop and smell the flowers is very close to where I am currently living... The area surrounding the farm I'm staying on is surrounded by row upon row of tulip fields apparently. I'm waiting to see all the colours pop, everything looks a little too green at the moment... 
I'm going to wait until it's just right and then head out into the fields to get myself one of those instagram pinterest style aesthetic photos... 
If I can't in RL then I may well just do it in Second Life... I have the perfect outfit all ready, a cute little Posy Set - from miss chelsea, available until March 30th at Anthem - and I'm ready to stop and smell the flowers, making sure that I have some to take home...

What is she wearing;
Hat & Hair: Doe - Makina
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Cardigan: miss chelsea - Posy Set in Cardi (Available until March 30th at Anthem)
Tank: miss chelsea - Posy Set in Tank (Available until March 30th at Anthem)
Flowers (In Carrier): FINCA - Tulipan Pink Kraft Packaging
Jeans & Shoes: miss chelsea - Posy Set in Jeans (Available until March 30th at Anthem)
Pose: [piXit] - April, Pose 4
Tulips: {what next} - 'Spring Bloom' Tulip Planters
Cart: [Merak] - Garden Cart in Yellow
Bicycle: dust bunny - Emma Flower Bicycle
Backdrop: Amitie - Tulips Field Complete Scene

Magic and Mirages

After a lovely long day off, I've decided to just take life slowly for a few days... Work and living in this camping place - it's not camping but it feels like I'm living in a holiday home - are beginning to grind on me... I don't like it here, I HATE living somewhere there is little to no privacy during the day, and I am clinging to the sanctity of when the shop shuts... During the day, I find myself hiding out, day dreaming and willing the time away so that I can do chores I need to do... 

While I was lazing today, I spent a lot of time reading books... I can't deny that I'm not minding too much with the relaxing that I'm being forced to do lol... It's definitely making my mind wander to far off places as I lose my mind in the fantasy of my books. 
Today, I was lost in a world of something similar to Aladdin's Arabian Nights. I think that for some reason I let my mind drift into that place because I put on a pair of flats in the new Bloom Set - created by The Kiwi Co - and although there's no jeans in Aladdin, I just let my mind drift... It didn't help that I picked up a Genie's Lamp from the table, I was still shocked to see a Genie appear... It all lead to a little imagination and a Mirage of Marrakesh... 

What is she wearing;
Hair: ARGRACE - TSUMUGI in Reds
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Sweater: The Kiwi Co - Bloom Set in Shrug
Top: The Kiwi Co - Bloom Set in Bustier
Genie: Moon Amore - Arabian Nights in Genie Plushie
Lamp: Moon Amore - Arabian Nights in Genie's Lamp
Pants: The Kiwi Co - Bloom Set in Mid-Rise Jeans
Shoes: The Kiwi Co - Bloom Set in Flats
Pose: [piXit] - Surprise, Pose F7
Tiger: JIAN - Tiger Collection
Rug: [ zerkalo ] - Persian Rugs in Reds
Backdrop: Synnergy.Tavis - Mirage of Marrakesh {360} Backdrop

Sheep Counting Shepherdess

Today was my day off, I spent the day doing things to relax when I wasn't working on getting the house work done... I wanted to sleep, I wanted to curl up and hide under a blanket and not come out... When I did try to take a nap, there was far too much on my mind and I couldn't get myself to fall asleep if I even tried... 

I had to reach out and seek a little assistance... I reached out to someone I KNEW might help me and she took a few minutes but then took a long time rounding up her herd... Sheep Happens - a collection of Sheep from Aardvark, available until March 8th at ACCESS - and the Moonlamb - a set of horns and ears from BeSpoke - is the shepherdess that cares for the jumping counting herd... You know the ones that jump over a fence so you can count them to fall asleep?! 

What is she wearing;
Halos: (Planets) random.Matter - Star Girl in Planetary Halo, (Neon) The Horror! - Engel Set in Blue & (Moons & Stars) random.Matter - Astrid Aura in Head Glitter & Stars & Doe - Twinkling Stars Aura
Horns & Ears: BeSpoke - Moonlamb
Hair: [monso] - Sakura Hair in Black & Red
Masks: (White Clouds & Stars) Tentacio - Heaven set (Available until March 9th at Kustom9) & (Blue Clouds) LuluB! - CloudHead in Blue Sky
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Face Make-Up: The Horror! - Angel Blush
Top: everfaery - Elania Outfit (Available until March 15th at Lewd Station)
Staff: {le fil casse} - Agnes Mini Hook in Sky
Pose: FOXCITY - Flower Child, Pose 3m
Sheep: Aardvark - Sheep Happens (Available until March 8th at ACCESS)
Clouds: (Sheep Shaped) kotte - Cloudy in Sheep & (With Hearts) Lagom - Love Clouds
Backdrop: FOXCITY. Photo Booth - Cloudtop 

Death Loses His Angel

It's the start of March, and therefore the high season for me starts as it's the start of my Birthday month and the start of the end of my 30s... On March 19th, I turn 40... I cannot wait to celebrate this amazing new chapter in my life, but I'm kinda wishing this year would be done already... Now things are getting a bit worrying as Anna - my darling little kitty - is wobbling on her feet and I'm a bit scared for her too... So I'm starting my month with the amazing death of my 30s... 

Death has been having a field day but today, the death of his beautiful angel of death... The girl of the shoulder that she sits on is about to enter her 40s causing her a massive amount of shock lol... He's broken, he is shedding a tear and on his knees to worship the loss of his gorgeous angel... The Runes of the Bound Blade - from Tardfish - circle around her, warning off anyone from coming near his precious angel. 

What is she wearing;
Headdress: CURELESS [+] - Dea Halo
Halo: Cole's Corner - Valkyrie Halo in Silver
Hair: [monso] - Suse Hair in Black & Red
Skin: amara beauty - Freya in Ivory
Make-up: The Horror! - Angel Blush in Blue
Collar & Chains: random.Matter - Neze Collar & Chains
Outfit: Psycho Barbie - Nightbloom Set
Daggers: Tardfish - Runes of the Bound Blade in Steel
Wings: Doe - Neon Flame Wings in Black White Red
Pose & Skeleton Prop: [piXit] - Amor Tenebris, Pose F2
Skeleton Tears: Doe - Crybaby
Scythe: everfaery - Eclipsed Reaper Scythe
Backdrop: Paparazzi - BACKDROP - Gothic Gate 1