Monday, February 11, 2013

Can't Choose Your Family...

A moment of prettiness, and calm, before I unleash the monster of a RANT... To avoid the rant please look away now, if you wish to see the rant, I warn you... It ain't pretty! 

What is she wearing (before the rant, in case you don't wanna read it hehe...)
Hair: Magika - Clumsy 
Skin: Ploom - Maia in Smoke Honey 
Eyes: IKON - Horizon Eyes in Dark Verdigris 
Piercing: Cute Poison - Beauty Destroyed 
Necklace: KOSH - Pivot Necklace (Available now at the Men's Department
Top: LOULOU&CO - Jerry Lee 
Arm Warmers: Distorted Dreams - Panda Armwarmers 
Ring: Mandala - Motsumame in Black/Silver 
Pants: Six Feet Under - Rogue Jeans in Grey 
Chair: Waterworks Island - Skull Aiderondak Chair in Aged  

Well I guess in RL the title statement for this post is true, you can't chose your family and you are stuck with what you get given... Yet in SL the opposite of this is true. It seems like you can pick and choose, you can mold your ideal family into it's correct shape, have babies, adopt kids of all ages, adopt siblings, pets or slaves, and even your group of friends become your family...
However, one of the biggest things that confuses and makes me laugh at the same time, is the apparent way people can claim to be family one minute and the drop you like a stone when they are bored of you the next.
I have a rather large family in SL - not by some standards of course - and I say family in a loose sense of the word, more like I have a collection of brothers, sisters, a parent, daughters, and close friends that I count as family. I don't see all of half as much as I like, and talk to them less than they deserve, but we're always there for each other and I would drop anything if one of them needed me and my full attention.
Recently I have seen the imminent collapse of one so-called family and to be frank it disappoints me on numerous levels. A group that I've been watching is heading for it's demise, and as an outsider I can see that fairly clearly, yet I get the feeling that this group will collapse with all the drama of a soap opera.
With so many people in one group, it is a sad fact that there may well be power struggles on odd occasions. People claiming to hate their rank within the group, yet not willing to give up that position when they miss out on the chance for an elevation in status, have already set the changes in motion. Yet the promotion of a RL spouse within the group has also caused a great shift in the way members of the "family" are being treated, to such an extent that former in-crowders are now being treated as outcasts, bringing pain and tears to the victimised parties. It seems to have become a little like a popularity contest, or even a competition about who can suck up to the "top dog" in the right way, and that to me is the total opposite to what the term family should be. Members of the group declare their love for each other in a way that would make you think they are accepting an Oscar, yet once backs are turned the bitching begins and people draw their knives out, and that is a saddening thing to watch. If you don't care for a person, why lie and make them think that you do, sure be polite or friendly even, but outright declarations of love when you know deep down that you will be picking sides later on and turning your back on the person just seems like something petty that would happen in a school yard, not in a group of mature adults.
The ones I feel bad for are the victimised parties... People that dedicated a lot of time and RL money to something that can be snatched away from them so easily, just because the new "top dog" or in this case his RL wife with her senior position in the family, has decided to make it a personal vendetta against them... Twisting their words, so she can feel like it is a personal attack, as the ass-lickers have blinded her to the truth behind the ins and outs of all the problems. I also feel marginally sorry for the "top dog" who seems to be rapidly losing his "family" all because he made a poor decision.
In RL you can't choose your family, but thank goodness we can in SL... There is no way that I would want to be stuck in a family like that, and to those people who are involved that feel saddened by it, maybe you should just smile, nod and think "thank goodness I saw the light and didn't get stuck in their little bullshit games any longer"...

1 comment:

  1. So sorry to hear about this, honey, and I am glad your own family is what you want it to be!!!